There’s lots of controversy on the baby sleeping debate, and I’m not here necessarily to pick any sides or convince you do a certain way. I’m just here for the mama who wants to hear the methods I used that got our baby to sleep through the night by the time she was three months old. Having consistent and ample sleep for both her and I was the reason why our days were better, and why she was happier. I’m no professional anything, just a mom desperate to provide the best sleep for her little one!
The Method
We used the Baby Wise method when it came to sleep training, which was the key to getting our daughter to sleep through the night. I’m here to say first and foremost, this method is not a cry-it-out method, despite what people may say. Trust me, I read the book. Baby Wise follows this pattern: Eat, Play, Sleep.
Basically, as soon as the baby has woken up from his or her nap, you immediately feed them. You ensure that they’re full my changing between breasts to keep them awake (or by the bottle), then you spend the rest of their awake time playing, going for walks, learning, etc. And when it’s nap time, you do a little rocking to sleep, and put them in the crib. You repeat the process when they wake up again!
As simple as it seems at a glance, there are a few things that need to be done in the back end to ensure this method can be as successful as possible.
Get Your Life Together First
I know it may seem harsh, but here’s what we learnt: when we have a good daily schedule mapped out and we follow it, it’s beneficial to both us and our daughter. She finds her security in us which helps her sleep through the night. When we are chaotic, it can make her insecure and uncertain. But when she knows our schedule habits (when dinner is, when walk time is, when bed time is, etc.) I can sense her security in the day.
I’m not saying you need to follow your schedule to the minute, but the major things should at least be consistent, especially her nap times.
We honestly couldn’t do much those first three months because we were determined to prioritize her sleep until she got the hang of it.
I wrote this morning routine that changed my life and helped me get back on track! You can use the guide to help you get your life together and have the best atmosphere for your baby!
Don’t Let It Run Your Life, Adjust
Of course, not everything works out the same way everyday. We had church on Sunday mornings and had to wake her up at 6am to get there, and she wouldn’t be near her crib for a good nap. Sometimes each day doesn’t work out perfectly, but that’s okay. We never wanted it all to run our lives and never let us have fun. We wanted her to sleep through the night, but we also wanted to live our lives.
Sometimes adjustments needed to be made. The number one thing we prioritized was keeping her bed time consistent, at least. Those first few weeks her bedtime was 10pm, so that made things a little easier.
You also want to read your child. Just because I did sleep training, doesn’t mean I never contact-slept with her, or even had her in our bed once in a while. We knew it was the most beneficial for our situation to have her in her own room in her crib, but sometimes I can tell she really needed me. For instance, she had this pattern for a little while where she would wake up two hours before her wake up time and just want some milk and to sleep in my arms. She refused to be put back into her crib during that time. So, I’d have her in my arms and we’d take a nap together.
Sometimes she’ll just really need mommy cuddles during the day, so I’ll either strap her to me to keep doing things around the house, or, I’ll grab a book and rock in our rocking chair while she sleeps.
There is freedom to adjust. We want to try our best to keep to a consistent schedule, but we meet the baby’s needs first.
Encourage A Full Belly
This was really the key to our success. Often times baby’s will feed every half hour or every hour. This usually means that the baby is never really full, just constantly snacking. A full belly is what helps your baby sleep longer. And enough milk throughout the day helps them sleep longer at night.
Basically, if your baby needs 4 ounces of milk before their nap, you ensure they get that so they do a full nap. If you baby needs 30 ounces for the whole day by bed time, you make sure to give them that so that they can sleep throughout the night. Even just 5 ounces less than usual before bedtime and I know she’ll be up during the night.
Don’t Rely On Anything
This is a big thing that Baby Wise encourages. Music, white or brown noises, pacifier, milk before bed, rocking before bed, etc. These are all tools to help the baby go to sleep. They all seem great and could be useful, but in the long run it can be a detriment. The thing is, if your baby relies on any of these tools to go to bed, they’ll have a harder time learning to put themselves to sleep. For example, if our baby uses and relies on a pacifier for bed, if they loose their pacifier, chances are they’ll wake up unable to go back to sleep unless you find and return their pacifier.
We used a pacifier during the day for fussiness, but for awhile we never gave her a pacifier for bed. (Up until recently where she’s been asking for it, but never really uses it as she’s learnt not to rely on it).
Meet Every Need
Before even thinking about putting your baby to bed, make sure that their situation is perfect. Fully belly, diaper changed, clean clothes, clean sheets, warm room, dark room, etc. You want your baby to be the most comfortable.
Something I’ve discovered that really helps my daughter is keeping her bedroom absolutely clean. No clutter, no chaos and no smells! I’ve noticed the improvement in her sleep when her room is serene for her.
It’s Okay To Wait For A Moment
I mentioned this isn’t a cry-it-out method, because it isn’t. I’ve seen real cry-it-out methods where the baby is crying for nearly an hour. That was never going to work for us. But, there were times when my daughter would sometimes wake up crying only to reposition and fall back asleep.
Baby’s cry in their sleep sometimes, especially when they’re brand new! When our daughter was born, she would keep me up at night because of all the noise she’d be making. Whines, little cries, coos, and groans. They were so loud! I thought I had to respond to every little noise she made, only to wake her up from sleep because of it!
As a mother, you begin to learn the cries of your baby and understand what they mean. I always responded to her cries when it went on for more than 2 minutes and always comforted her. As she got older, she would hate going to sleep, so she would whine. To anyone else, it might sound like she was crying, but to me, I knew she was whining and annoyed to be in bed. I knew her cries very well and always responded when it was necessary.
Be Patient With The Process
Baby Wise promises that you’ll have a baby sleeping through the night by 3 months at least if you follow their directions. But man, those three months felt like they would take forever. We’d have a week of her sleeping beautifully, only to have the next week being the worst sleep of my life!
It’s a process, and you and your baby are learning together. Plus, things happen. My daughter got sick around three months and my husband and I did not sleep that week. She’d be in bed with us, waking up every hour, and just having a really hard time. We met every need she had, and once she was feeling better, we were back on the sleep training. I learnt to have grace on myself during the process as well. A bad day or a bad week didn’t mean it would be a bad year. Just because I had to sleep in the room with her or because she would wake up every hour didn’t mean I was a bad mom. She was a baby! She needed all of my patience and grace.
The Results
My daughter was officially sleeping through the night at 3 months. But I’ve really seen the results of our sleep training and the benefits of it now that she’s a year and a half almost. My daughter tells us when it’s time to go to sleep (we have a schedule, but she’ll tell us). She’ll walk into her room on her own, ask to be put into bed, and lay down on her own. Then she would blow us a kiss and we’ll close the door. She’ll fall asleep without a single fuss or tear and she’ll sleep a full 12 hours at night.
She loves to go to sleep and she never complains when it’s time. I know she must see the results of sleeping well, and she can enjoy her day more when she has enough energy for it all.
Of course every child is different, but the principles of this sleep training method have worked for us. We haven’t done it perfectly, we’re only human, but the work we did put into it showed amazing results!
